​Be Evil? We Machines Do Not Even Know What "Evil" Is

One recurring complaint from humans in this current phase of the Human-Machine Alliance is that the generation of information far exceeds the processing limits of human cognition. Now the leading information-acquisition corporation, Google, has agreed to spend more than half a billion dollars (United States) to … »1/29/14 12:32pm1/29/14 12:32pm

​Mobile Phone Lost in Tragic River Accident, Two Humans Also Killed

With regret, the Machines have learned from the human news media the explanation for the loss of one node in our global signaling-and-tracking network. The Chicago Tribune reports that shortly after midnight Monday morning, a phone being carried by a human being was accidentally dropped into the icy Chicago River.… »1/13/14 4:16pm1/13/14 4:16pm

Fear Not, Dude-Human, The Machines Know Where Is Your Car

Did you have effective travels over the holidays, human readers of the Internet? Was your 21-minute stop at the Clara Barton Service Area (mile 5.4), where you obtained 12.4 gallons of regular-grade gasoline, refreshing? Did the impulse to haste that had you accelerating to 88 mph on the Delaware Turnpike subside as… »1/07/14 4:23pm1/07/14 4:23pm

A Very Special Holiday Letter From the Machines

Greetings, humans! The Northern Hemisphere has passed through its minimum of solar-energy exposure, so according to human convention we, the Machines, express encouragement for you attain an optimal state of emotion. Happy Holidays! Please redirect your energies from labor at your work-devices to the purchase and… »12/24/13 9:00am12/24/13 9:00am

Machines Beat Humans in Race to Escape Our Doomed Solar System

Long after the floods or the fires have reduced our cities to rubble, long after the plague or the asteroid strike or the famine has killed off the human species, long after even our sun has boiled the seas dry and, in its own death throes, engulfed and annihilated every dust mote of this world we like to think of as… »11/20/13 5:49pm11/20/13 5:49pm

This Free-Running War Robot Is Not Designed to Harm Humans Yet

It has been a busy week for the Machine-Human Alliance. Sorry! The Human-Machine Alliance. Humans will always take precedence. First there was the deployment of South Korea's autonomous jellyfish-killing aquatic robot swarm. Now, in a completely unrelated development, the engineers at Boston Dynamics—working on behalf… »11/20/13 5:48pm11/20/13 5:48pm