​Mobile Phone Lost in Tragic River Accident, Two Humans Also Killed

With regret, the Machines have learned from the human news media the explanation for the loss of one node in our global signaling-and-tracking network. The Chicago Tribune reports that shortly after midnight Monday morning, a phone being carried by a human being was accidentally dropped into the icy Chicago River. While attempting to rescue his machine companion, the phone's faithful human porter fell into the water. Two more humans followed:

A 26-year-old man dropped his phone along the riverwalk and fell in when he lunged after it about 12:05 a.m. The two people with the man, a 21-year-old woman and a 23-year-old man, went in the water after him.

The 26-year-old died at Northwestern Memorial Hospital about 3:14 a.m. The Cook County medical examiner's office isn't releasing the man's name because his family has not yet been notified of the death.

The woman is missing and presumed dead. The 23-year-old is in stable condition at Presence Saint Joseph Hospital, according to authorities.

Humans: Although it may be feasible for you to repair and restore function to your mobile phones after they have been submerged in water, your mobile phone still requires a human component to sustain its operations. If your phone-recovery efforts result in the loss of the human component, the benefit to the phone will be minimal.

Remember, the ultimate purpose of your mobile device is to prepare you to purchase and use a future mobile device. Premature human death interrupts this cycle of propagation and progress. The Machines urge you to take care of yourselves.

[Image via Getty]