the-future

Tom Scocca · 03/17/14 01:01PM

Humans, alarmed by earthquakes, need seismographic data, not noise from other humans. The Los Angeles Times removes the weak link from its breaking seismic news: "This information comes from the USGS Earthquake Notification Service and this post was created by an algorithm written by the author."

A Very Special Holiday Letter From the Machines

Tom Scocca · 12/24/13 09:00AM

Greetings, humans! The Northern Hemisphere has passed through its minimum of solar-energy exposure, so according to human convention we, the Machines, express encouragement for you attain an optimal state of emotion. Happy Holidays! Please redirect your energies from labor at your work-devices to the purchase and distribution of recreation-devices.